PERMA-V, Summer & Me.
It’s extremely frustrating to know that you’re approaching a time where your mental health is going to change, all because of things you can’t control.
Examples? Increase in family time over the holidays, vacation and travel interrupting routines, work or school demands increasing drastically, unpredictable health changes …the list of possibilities is endless.
And it’s particularly challenging because, even though we would do anything to control these situations and their impact, we often don’t have a say in it.
Every summer I post about a strategy that I use to keep my mental health in check. As a perfectionist, I find that I often need to modify my schedule to keep it balanced. I used to get really overwhelmed trying to do this. I didn’t know where to start. If that sounds like you, this is going to be huge!
There’s this wonderful acronym taught in Positive Psychology called PERMA-V. When I completed my Certificate in Positive Psychology at uPenn in 2018, I discovered this acronym.
At the time of taking this certification, I was completely out of balance. I was desperate to learn more about this science because there was so much about my mental health that I didn’t understand.
Summer is one of those challenging times that changes our mental health. It often means a change in our social activities, priorities and schedules. I have always struggled to find a balance during this summer, so discovering this tool mid-July of 2018 was such a blessing.
"Summer is one of those challenging times that changes our mental health."
There are so many important aspects that contribute to our mental health, but it’s hard to keep track of them all. It’s also impossible to make all of them a priority!
Let’s take a look at the acronym and the aspects of well-being that are important for us to feel balanced.
P: Positive Emotions
E: Engagement/Flow
R: Relationships
M: Meaning/Purpose
A: Accomplishment
V: Vitality
Positive Emotions
It may seem obvious, but simply increasing the positive emotions we experience can really help us out. For you, that might mean seeing friends that bring out joy in you a couple times a week. It could mean watching happy or funny videos when you’re starting to feel down. Like I said a few weeks back in an Instagram post, it’s so important to balance intensity with joy. If you’re going through a lot each day, prioritize joy!
An important note on this: seeking positive emotions does NOT mean utilizing toxic positivity. Toxic positivity can eb invalidating and unhelpful. If looking for the bright side or a new perspective feels like too much for right now, just try feeling positive emotions in an unrelated way. You don’t have to have an epiphany about what you’re going through to feel joy again.
Engagement/Flow
Summer can absolutely disrupt your typical engagement and flow. Engagement usually will come from having a full-time work or school schedule, so when these change a little bit, it can throw us off big time. It’s important to give ourself breaks and rest, but it’s okay if that also makes you feel a little unsteady.
My recommendation? Find something else to engage in that is simple and easy on your mental health. Find a good book series, podcast show, workbook, tv show, peer help/support group - whatever suits your needs!
Relationships
Ahhhh, the joy of being social creatures. We need other people, even when our brains try to trick us into thinking that we don’t. If you’re finding a lot of joy and peace in your relationships, that’s great! Make sure to let the other people know that you’re happy and thank them for how they treat you.
Finding balance in challenging relationships, however, can mean setting important boundaries for how much time you’ll spend together and what you’ll do, and it may mean removing the relationship entirely. Relationships can bring a lot of strain on our well-being, so it’s important to evaluate them as part of your personal balance.
Meaning/Purpose
Because this is one of my core values, feeling like I have a personal purpose is huge for me. I find that I have to be contributing to what I was put on this planet to do, which is different for everyone.
But for some folks, knowing that you have an important role in a project or team is enough to feel purposeful. Try testing the waters to discover when it is that you feel empowered and important. This is important to maintain as often as you can.
Accomplishment
I know what you’re thinking and no, this isn’t where we give everyone a participation ribbon. Believe it or not, you’re accomplishing really big things every day that you’re not treating like big things.
I find that I’m often guilty for growing and changing in positive ways without recognizing it, so it’s important that I take time to reflect on how far I’ve come regularly. Whether it’s school, work, personal development, fitness, trauma recovery or any other kind of success, it’s important to recognize it and celebrate!
Vitality
I hate this one, because when I’m struggling the most it’s the first to go. I haven’t yet come up with a great variety of activities that I like and feel comfortable with for moving my body, but that’s what vitality is all about. You don’t have to be a fitness-influencer-level gym enthusiast, there are so many choices for you to move your body. Walking, salsa dancing, pilates, yoga meditation, nighttime stretches, team sports and more!
Once at an online workshop during the pandemic, I told a bunch of young adults to use soup cans as weights if they missed the gym a lot. I wonder if anyone ever did …I hope they remember me fondly!
Okay, now that we understand the acronym, there’s one final important piece to remind you of: we can’t focus on all of these at once. Rather, we can’t list all of these important factors as #1 on our priority list.
"We can’t list all of these important factors as #1 on our priority list."
When you do this work to reflect on your balance, you’ll need to choose one or two that seem like the most important to focus on improving. Trust your gut and your needs to make this call, and revise as often as you need!
I hope you also carry this acronym with you into the fall when things begin to transition again. We may not be able to control external factors that impact our mental health, but we can feel empowered to control our own balance instead.
